I went for a walk today
I went for a walk today; I went for one yesterday too. This is a story of my walking experience, what I saw, what I smelled and how I feel.
Yesterday, as I was walking along the river, I saw a river otter. It’s very rare to see them, they are quiet and shy and they keep to themselves. They build their little river dens; take care of their little river family and slither swiftly through the water like adorable little river dogs with flippers. They are like water Chewawas the non-barking and biting kind.
Today as I was walking I said hello to several walkers in crime. It seemed everyone wanted a piece of the surprise and delight I experienced yesterday. Welcome fall, welcome. It is my favorite time of year. In my experience, fall is a time of energy, change and excitement. The earth buzzes in the fall and I reap the benefits.
As I walked along the river today I heard a rustling in the leaves, I looked to my right and I caught my breath. A young deer jumped out of the trees and started to run directly towards me. I clasped my hand to my chest and whispered “oh, my. You are beautiful” and as he banked to the right and took off, I choked on a sob from deep in my throat and whispered “thank you.” Now, you might think I’m a sap or maybe even a little crazy to be speaking out loud all by myself to the animals but I’ll tell you something. I always know when I’m feeling “better” or inspired or right with the world. I know this because I begin speaking in my out loud voice to the animals. And to the trees and to the bugs and to the little things that surprise and delight me. I spoke out loud to several things today.
As I crossed the bridge, I stopped and hung out for a moment and watched two dumb ducks dabbling in an eddy. At one point, one of the dumb ducks reached out with his adorable little rubbery ducky bill and caught a bug flying through the air. As he did this I exclaimed “oh! You caught it! Nice work buddy, good job.” I did, I did that. Then I chuckled at myself for haven spoken to the duck as if I was speaking to my doodle (he’s half poodle.) And I went on my merry way. I walked past a pond on my walk. On my left was the river, on the right was a pond and the pond smelled like black liquorice. It did! I took several deep breaths as I looked up into the tree canopy. I allowed myself to think “Self, this is not creepy, it’s delightful. Black liquorice smells delightful.” As it screwed with my senses…Ponds are not supposed to smell like liquorice. How curious.
I continued to walk along and soon stumbled upon several leaping squirrels, a woodpecker (fascinating little creatures) and a snake (not so delightful) I jumped and screamed but then said hello anyway. (It’s not their fault they are completely creepy) and seven swans. I kid you not. Seven swans on my walk today. Majestic, simply majestic. (Although, as with peacocks, I hear they are a very messy bird.)
It took me another 25 minutes to complete the walk home and as I did, I jumped and squealed at yet another snake, one more leaping squirrel and several of those BASTARD big brown grasshoppers with clicking wings. (Devils work, I’m convinced of it.)
I am now home. Exhausted; with muscles twitching, chest heaving, endorphins surging and a big giant grin. What will tomorrow bring? I am thrilled to have discovered my new motivation to move. I wouldn’t dare miss tomorrow’s episode! Besides, I promised the river otter I’d help him lift a pesky log he’s been having trouble moving. I’m freakishly strong.
Wendie Gone Feral
Dear Ms. Feral: Don’t ask, don’t tell?
Dear Ms. Feral,
I am trying to educate myself on a certain subject and was wondering if I may engage you. I have to fill out a questionnaire about “Don’t ask don’t tell” everyone in the Army has to do this. I would really like to know your opinion on this issue. Please understand, I fully support the gay community to marry and to live happy and productive lives. I am quite concerned about this issue and probably not why you would think. Anyway, if you would give me your insight on this I would very much appreciate it.
As you might imagine there is quite a bit of talk regarding this issue in the ranks these days. Frankly I think this is dangerous. I think people are going to get hurt or worse. It is not fair, it is not right, but I really think it is going to be harmful. The military is not the place to be “out”. Imagine if you will; A group of 19 year old males sitting around drinking beer and trying to outdo each other. In walks a young man that is openly gay, what is going to happen in this situation? It is absolutely not right, but I can tell you that these guys are not the free-thinkers of “normal” society. Bad things will happen unfortunately! I just don’t want to see people getting hurt or killed.
I would also like to add one more little thing about those 19 year old kids sitting around being angry. In this current climate of war, with no end in sight; we have to train these kids to be violent. To kill without flinching, war is not pretty and we have to train like we fight. So ultimately, “we” as in the leaders of the military are to blame for the lack of free-thinking. A harsh reality to our environment, just bad all around. I am so looking forward to my days in retirement, to concentrate on family, film and fun!
Thanks for talking with me.
Sincerely, Concerned in the Army
Dear Concerned in the Army
I appreciate your concern and thank you for bringing this to my attention. DADT is obviously a very sensitive subject for all involved. I appreciate you offering up your opinion as well as stating your personal stance. I feel very fortunate you didn’t ask for my advice!
DADT was progressive in it’s time, yes. And I personally believe for what it was, we should be grateful. However, it is my opinion it is time for it, and discrimination as a whole, to come to an end. I hear your concerns for the soldiers’ safety. But, isn’t that a daily concern when they go into battle for our country? If you look at a row of coffins…each covered in the American flag, can you tell which one is Gay? You spoke of your military training. Shouldn’t this be a part of “ethics in the military?” Trust, respect, integrity. A soldiers sexual orientation should fall naturally under “Respect.” Although, I can’t imagine a soldier shaking hands in meeting another for the first time and stating “hello! I’m Sgt. so and so…I’m a homosexual” Just as I’ve never heard “Hello! I’m Wanda I’m a heterosexual civilian, nice to meet you.” Should it come to light, the soldier should be protected under said military ethics standards of practice.
I’m not here to argue the basics. Such as: “not all Heteros are attracted to all Heteros. What makes them think all Gays and Lesbians are attracted to all men/women?” You know, the whole, “you think you’re THAT hot that all gay men/women would be attracted to you?!” Concept. We could go rounds. Besides, you already said you are in support. I just think it should fall in line with your tolerance training.
Rosa Parks walked from the back of the bus to sit in the front because she would no longer stand for discrimination and abuse. She was a black woman in her own country. She stood up, and walked forward for her rights; fully prepared to accept the consequences of her actions. In my opinion, to be allowed to be openly gay in the military is a basic human right and should not be “voted” on by the military or anyone. Gays and Lesbians have been abused, discriminated against and oppressed for years; don’t you think they are aware of the can of worms being opened? And if they are aware, don’t you think they are prepared to accept the consequences? They are ready. They are asserting themselves for their immediate rights and for the rights of others to come. Thank you Rosa Parks.
Gays and Lesbians go into battle, shed blood, protect, serve and pledge allegiance to our flag just like the Heterosexual heroes of our country. They should be treated as such. They are our Heroes, not Homos.
Wendie Gone Feral
http://www.sldn.org/Gaga
Call your senator at (202) 224-3121
Dear Ms. Feral: Thank you
Dear Ms. Feral
Well it’s almost 4:20 in tha morning (woo hoo)…and I’m getting dropped off home from a girl that I’ve been so wanting ta kick it with. fantastic night. The only reason why I’m kicking it with her is cuz of mz feral advise!!!!!!! 
I so broke my wall. i feel so ganxta again lol sorry fo tha late night message but I swear, since ya advice I’ve been so much happier. so that’s tha main reason I’m sending u this I just wanna say that u r a awesome chick and friend. I swear I was afraid ta talk ta a certain girl but after ur advise..I’m now actually gonna start hanging with her more often!! Regardless what happens I just wanna thank ya again..your advise is so appreciated!!!!!!!!…
Sincerely,
Your Gangsta
Dear Gangsta,
I’m so proud of you. Way to go with your gut and allow yourself to FEEL. Be good to yourself. I greatly appreciate you taking the time to follow up. It warms my heart to hear you are doing so well.
Wendie Gone Feral
*Tap*Tap*Tap* Is this thing on?
Can you hear me now? How about now? I’ve been quiet for the last couple of months. Sssssssh.
I was silent for the month of August. Hopefully, this is a forgivable act. Or should I say, non-act. I needed a minute. I took some time off to reflect and grow even more introspective. Trust me, this is a good thing. I’ve become more focused, more thoughtful and more deliberate. Deliberate is good, I promise. It still falls right in line with feral. Even more so actually. Feral animals are very precise and deliberate. Right. Before. Their. Attack. Think of the cunning Velociraptor then think of me. Then think of them, then think of me. Them, me. Me, them.
Wait for it my pretties. I’m gearing up for something(s) big. I’ll be spinning a lot of plates, some may brake and I might even smash a few, but that’s okay. Fail harder.
In the last year, I’ve spoken at Ignite Boise, www.igniteboise.com Watch a bad video here: http://vimeo.com/11365213 I’ve been interviewed by Uncle Boise http://www.uncleboise.com/feature.boi?a=319, (second follow-up interview posted soon.) I’ve been a muse for a multi-media art documentary (to be posted soon after a re-edit) www.viralmediaproductions.com Teaser video here: http://viralintermedia.blogspot.com/2010/05/wendie-gone-feral.html I’ve won Best of Boise (best twitter-er) www.boiseweekly.com, I’ve even gotten into the Urban dictionary. http://pnt.me/H6MEV7 And lastly, I’ve received hate mail. Yeah, it’s true. They hate me! They really, really hate me!
Recently, I’ve received an email from a writer/director/producer in L.A. who, is producing an online comedy show. They asked me to review and possibly do a little P.R. piece for them. In return, they’d scratch my back…Well, they didn’t actually say they’d scratch my back. But hell, I’ll take what I can get. What does all this mean? What the hell do I know?! No clue. What do you think it means? I’d really like to know. I’ll take any and all input. Can’t wait to hear what Joy thinks of all this.
In the meantime, I’ll remain open. I’ll remain reflective and I’ll listen emphatically to Vivaldi-Presto and a little bit of Bonnie Tyler (for shits and giggles. ) If you care to listen. I’m a blip.fm DJ. It’s good times. http://blip.fm/WendieGoneFeral
You should know, it feels strange writing about myself. Other than my thoughts, feelings or musings I’ve never really written about myself. At least I don’t think I have. It’s rare in any case. I just felt I needed some sort of documentation of what’s been happening in my life. It’s strange, strange I tell you, to be walking down the street and hear a young girl point and holler at her passengers “That’s Wendie Gone Feral!” It’s happened my friends. It’s happened. A person doesn’t really know what to do with that. It’s a lot to process. There’s no point to that rant, I’m just sayin’.
So comment if you want, if you wish, if you will. and don’t forget to write in your questions to “Ask Ms. Feral” at wendiegoneferal@gmail.com. In the words of Frasier Crane “I’m listening”
Wendie Gone Feral
Dear Ms. Feral: Oh, let the sunshine in, face it with a grin
Dear Ms. Feral
Not trying ta bother ya 
but my origanal question I asked ya don’t matter no more I asked wut do I do ta forget about my ex…well I’ve answerd my own question..time heals all in a certain point ya dig..I missed my ex really bad that’s why I asked fo ya opinion but after months of no contact with her I’m cool time really does heal thangs..but if I may.. Tha only question I wanna ask ya (no hurries on this ….how do I trust a female again after I’ve been toatly fucked over..I mean my wall is up and don’t take this wrong but I will never trust a female again..so if u have any advise on this I welcome this..like I said no rush I no ya busy but I would luv ya opinion when ya have time ta give it..thanx fo being a friend..
Gangsta
Dear Gangsta,
Well now, that sure was flowery!
So, you had your heart broken I see. Welcome to living land! I’m proud of you for waiting it out, taking your time, allowing yourself to feel your emotions and realizing that life does go on and you will feel less and less pain. However, you are saying you are a bit stuck? Stuck in “I’ve built a wall, I’ll never love again, I don’t trust anyone” land. Tell me Gangsta, how does that feel to you? Do you like not trusting anyone? Do you like having a wall up, as you say, to protect your emotions? Is this something you enjoy?
If it’s not something you enjoy, then my advice is to not do it. Knock that wall down, let people in. You will get hurt again, this I guarantee. But each time, with each relationship, with each lesson, you grow stronger and better. Yes, I said better. You see Gangsta, you have to take life’s knocks in order to become the man you are meant and capable of being. Don’t put up walls and exclaim you will never love or trust again. Instead, embrace your pain. Be grateful for it and your experience. Any woman who deserves to be with you, will love you more for accepting your emotions and in turn, being emotionally available to her.
Good luck to you my friend. I’m already impressed by your vulnerability; in taking a chance and asking the question.
Oh, let the sunshine IN, face it with a grin. Smilers never lose and frowners never win…
Wendie Gone Feral
Please make note I don’t edit my readers questions. They come in as is. I just copy and paste. Also, I’m no licensed anything. So don’t try to sue me for telling people to tear down their walls. I don’t mean it literally, duh, obvi.
Dear Ms. Feral: Shiny plastic people holding hands
Dear Ms. Feral
So I have a question that I really couldn’t go to any friends for. I figured since you are local and you seem wise enough I’d ask you.
I’m finding that there are really no boys in Boise that excite me at all. Well, that sounds kinda silly I suppose. What I mean is, recently I’ve found no joy in meeting new boys, going on dates with them, or doing much of anything with them. I guess it’s an intimate thing. But I’m just wondering if it is Boise that is the problem. All the people I hang out with seem to be fabricated plastic people who put their own appearance and demeanor on some high pedestal, and I’m supposed to be impressed by this somehow. And if that isn’t the case, they are pretty much straight up jack-asses who deserve nothing more than to have their cocks sheared by razor blades and fed to FERAL animals. Should I just hold out, or do I need to move on to something/somewhere better?
Dear Anonymous,
I’m going to go ahead and use “anonymous” for you. As you’ve used your real name and I know better than that. So, you’re welcome in advance. I’m hoping you’ve read the other Dear Ms. Feral inserts because they will give you a good indication of the ass whooping you’re about to receive. I’m actually struggling with a response here because all I can hear is whine, whine, whine, excuse, excuse, excuse. It’s ringing in my ears woman! And I hate when my ears ring.
Let’s start here shall we? “All the people I hang out with seem to be fabricated plastic people who put their own appearance and demeanor on some high pedestal.” What in the HELL?! Why? WHY are you hanging out with jackasses who “deserve nothing more than to have their cocks sheared by razor blades and fed to feral animals.” It is I who is confused Ms. Anonymous. I sense a chip on your shoulder and I would venture to say, if you don’t find out where that chip came from, it’ll follow you to wherever you venture too. Like a bad 80′s shoulder pad. (Just one apparently)
I’ll tell you this. You choose your friends. You choose who you surround yourself with. Imagine they are your mirror. Do you like your reflection? Sit on that for a while. I would imagine as soon as you enjoy your reflection. This “boy” you so desire to attract will enjoy it too.
Wendie Gone Feral
I’m lactating
I just hollered at the news lady “Shut up, betch.” Out of no where, I hollered.
You see, calling someone a “betch” is far less harsh than bitch. It’s said with less ferocity and more humor.
The poor soul simply mentioned that the Month of August is nine days away. To most, nine days until the month of August would not be cause for such foul mouthed hollerin’ and for that matter i’m sure baffles the mind. But for me, it means I’m nine days to older. It’s my birthday on the 31st of July. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy birthday and the like. I’d love to insert Lilly Allen at this juncture but I’ll save that for a more angry rant. Oh, wait…
This is a year of transition. I’d love to say I’m a chrysalis and will soon be a beautiful butterfly. But at this point in my life, I feel more like a cocoon which attached it’s self to a weed which was just cut up by a combine in a mix of alfalfa being sent to make a bail of hay…Er, alfalfa. Whatever that itchy stuff is you feed horses.
Anyway. I like change. I do. Change is good. The problem isn’t the change or how uncomfortable it is or what struggles I’m facing or my future. The problem is, I’m lactating. You heard me. I’m not pregnant, there’s no way that’s possible. God simply doesn’t love me enough to make me the vessel for the second coming of Christ. Plus, if you’ve read any of my previous posts…I’m of the “L” persuasion. I’m a lesbian folks. Not to mention, my Midge is thirteen years old. She no longer suckles on my tit or is that teet? Either way. My boobs, she doesn’t suckle nourishment from them.”Gross mom!”
So I have to go see the doctor. I’m not excited about it as you can imagine. I am excited however to know that the before mentioned blog about my sunstash now makes more sense. It’s not the sun friends, it’s my hormones. Whew! Wait, awe hell.
So anyway, I’ll keep you posted on the hormone/lactating/sunstache issue. In the meantime, I like gifts. Shiny ones, crinkly ones and gifts that you can fold into a wallet. Green, green is my favorite color. And if you happen to have one of those fancy mammogram machines you want to dust off and roll over here, I’ll give it a whirl.
And I’m sorry news lady. I meant you no harm, you just startled me a little. Don’t make me jump like that again. I’ve got a weak ticker to boot.
KThanksBye.
